NASA Node 3
NASA's Node 3, Serenity Colbert, is a module addition to the International Space Station. It contains some of the liberal's most advanced propaganda systems to date. Node 3 Purpose NASA claims Node 3 will "provide room for many of the station’s life support systems, in the form of eight refrigerator-sized racks". Some systems allegedly being transferred over to Node 3 include The Oxygen Generation System (OGS), The Atmosphere Revitalization System (ARS), The Water Recovery System (WRS), The Urine Processor Assembly (UPA), and the waste and hygiene compartmentOnce it is formally named for Dr. Colbert, the node will also include the following upgrades: the Full-body Exfoliation Processing Containment Unit (FEPCU) and the Brass Ball Polishing Chamber (BBPC). The true purpose of NASA's liberal and atheist scientists is to install systems on Node 3 which will if activated broadcast brainwashing "Wikiwaves" across all of the America. Once a Wikiwave is heard by a person they will be brainwashed into believing in the false theory of "evolution" and will also convince that person that homosexuals are people too. It will take approximately two hours for the Wikiwaves to brainwash all of America's true citizens into believing false, anti-Christian bullshit. Node 3 Naming NASA held a contest lasting until March 20th, 2009, that allowed anyone to vote for what they think the Node 3 should be named. Poll Options The name poll included 4 options for pre-made names made by NASA and a 5th option for a custom user suggestion. *Earthrise *Legacy *Serenity *Venture *Select Your Own Since the NASA names were extremely gay (especially you, Serenity), most intelligent users suggested their own. Name it Colbert! On the Colbert Report (March 4th, 2009), Stephen Colbert asked sweet America and her citizens to go to the "Help NASA Name Node 3!" page and suggest Colbert as the new name for the Node 3. It took a few days for the citizens of the Colbert Nation to get it right and realize the only name that should be suggested is Colbert and not Stephen Colbert or Truthiness. NASA Poll Results On March 20th, 2009, NASA closed the name suggestion contest and at first glance it appeared that "Serenity" had won, but since Colbert was the top user suggestion, and since America is a democracy, Colbert is the real name of Node 3. Even if NASA says the name is "Serenity", the fact NASA is full of atheist fuckers makes their opinions null. As the vote count revealed, the name Colbert had beat out Serenity by 40,000 votes, thus dubbing the module "Colbert". Congratulations Stephen! Official Unveiling During the April 14, 2009 edition of "The Colbert Report," Astronaut Sunita Williams informed Stephen that NASA would--in factiness--not be gracing Node 3 with the Colbert name. Before The Mob could retaliate, Captain Williams said that the Colbert name would still be going into space, but as a yet-to-be-launched treadmill called the Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill External Tubes *C.O.L.B.E.R.T. treadmill patch now available!!! *C.O.L.B.E.R.T. Launch Delayed!!! *Colbert meets the C.O.L.B.E.R.T. Footnotes